I’ve made it no secret breastfeeding was, um, a struggle, to put it mildly, for me and Remy. Well, happy 9 months of breastfeeding to me! I really can’t believe it’s been 9 months, and some times I forget how far we’ve really come. A quick review: Remy had trouble latching due to a deep palate and mommy’s giant, milk-laden boobs with average sized nipples. After we overcame the anatomical issues (he got bigger) we still had to deal with the effects of a traumatic birth and a rough start to breastfeeding. I pumped exclusively for about 3 months and Remy drank his milk out of a finger feeder. I’m proud to say he’s only been given breastmilk. Well, now he gets solids, but just solids and breastmilk, you know what I mean. This week has been tough for us and has reminded me what we’ve been through.
Remy’s having some sort of growth spurt or something going on. Last night he was up 4 or 5 times, normally it’s like 1 to 3, and wanted to nurse. On two of the occasions he nursed for an hour straight, something he hasn’t done in quite a few months. I’m totally exhausted today from it – I couldn’t just doze while he nursed last night for some reason. It was a really important reminder that we have a breastfeeding relationship.
A relationship – something we both need to work on. I need to work on slowing down and being still during the day, so my son can feel like he can get the milk he needs without feeling hurried. I think Remy feeds off my energy and feels hurried during the day, thus feeding at night is more relaxed and nicer for him. I need to help Remy to understand that he needs to take breaks from his very important playing and crawling to refuel. He’s a perpetual motion machine these days. We’ve both been guilty of ignoring what our bodies are telling us because we’re so ‘busy’.
Christmas Milkies – Remy having some milk on Christmas Eve
It certainly hasn’t been an easy 9 months, and we still have loads to learn but I think I’m finally entering that comfortable, enjoyable phase of breastfeeding. I love that we have such an intimate and mysterious connection. I don’t know why Remy is needing more milk and to nurse more frequently, but I don’t have to know why. I just have to trust my body to provide for my little guy.
My only advice to women having breastfeeding struggles of their own is the best advice I got during mine: Don’t quit on your worst day. You can pretty much apply that mantra to a ton of different situations, so you’re welcome. 
